My kids with me at the grocery store: "OOOh!! Get some bananas!"
Me, in my head: "They never eat the goddamn bananas."
Me (responsibly) out loud: "You never eat damn the bananas."
Them: "Yes we..."
Me: "You don't."
Me, at home several days later with the goddamn bananas: "Oh, a snack, you say? Well I have your perfectly ripe (i.e. goddamn) bananas right here."
Them: "Mmmmmmm, no thanks."
Me, in my head and also out loud: "Goddamnit."
So heres a recipe for banana bread. I measure dry ingredients in grams mostly, it's more accurate and consistent.
Makes 1 loaf.
3 super ripe bananas
80g brown sugar
1/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons plain unsweetened milk
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
2 teaspoons vanilla
225g all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/2 teaspoon salt
40g rolled oats, plus more for topping
50g mini chocolate chips, plus more for topping
Heat oven to 350° F.
In a medium bowl, mash the bananas. You won't get all the little chunks, but that's ok.
Add the sugar, oil, milk, vinegar, and vanilla, and whisk to combine.
In a separate bowl, add the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, cardamom, and salt. Whisk to combine.
With a rubber spatula, stir the dry mix into the wet. When it's about half way combined, add the oats and chocolate chips and continue folding the batter together, until there are little to no dry spots left. A few patches of unincorporated flour in the batter is ok. It's important to the texture to not over-mix.
Grease a loaf pan, and pour in the batter. Sprinkle some additional oats on top, then sprinkle chocolate chips.
Bake 45-50 minutes, until a toothpick can pass through it and come out mostly dry.
Let rest 10 minutes, then remove from the pan and let cool completely on a wire rack.
Watch with pleasure as your kids finally eat those goddamn bananas, while simultaneously topping off the swear jar, and praying you don't get a call from the school. Enjoy!
Vegan chef, cookbook author, and multi-media personality, Brian L. Patton. Just making good, old-fashioned food. You like food, right?